Joke of the Weekend XXVI

Happy to provide from a friend from downunder . . .

YOUR YEARLY DEMENTIA TEST

It's that time of year again, time to take the annual senior
citizen test.


Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.
As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't
use it, you lose it!

Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of
intelligence


Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or
not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've
made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.


1. What do you put in a toaster?



Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast,' give up now and do
something
else. Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, bread, go to Question 2.


2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?







Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the
next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat.
Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as
Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.


3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is
made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black
house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?



Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green
bricks,' why the hell are you still reading these??? If you said
'glass,' go on to Question 4.



4. It's twenty years ago, and a jet plane is flying at 20,000 feet
over Germany (if you will recall, Germany at the time was politically
divided into West Germany and East Germany ). Anyway during the flight,

TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engines

are also failing decides on a crash landing procedure.
Unfortunately, the engines fail before he can do so and the plane
fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East and West Germany .

Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany or 'no
man's land'?




Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else,
you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury
survivors', proceed to the next question.




5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London
to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus; in
Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon , two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get
on in Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive
at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?





Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own
name?
It was YOU!!





Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better
than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions.