Joke of the Weekend XXXI

TOP TEN Ways to Know You Are Dating a Consultant

1. Refers to those "intimate moments" as "Win-Win situations"
2. Valentine`s Day card has bullet points
3. Can`t be trusted with the car (too accustomed to beating up rentals)
4. Celebrate anniversary by conducting a performance review
5. Ends any argument by saying "let`s talk about this offline"
6. Tries to call room service from the bedroom
7. Congratulates your parents for successful value creation
8. Takes a half-day at the office because, "Sunday is YOUR day"
9. Talks to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late
10. Referred to the first month of your relationship as a "diagnostic period"

Leaders need to Lead in these downtimes

It is amazing to me how often when the times are not as good as in the past, leaders make some strange decisions . . . oh my, we need to cut expenses and "I" know which expenses to cut. The result is that short-term decisions impact long run revenue opportunities. Oh yes, short term bonuses might look good, but this is about the long term viability of the business and a contract with people who have worked so hard to build a business.

I have been through recessionary times in the past, my advice to new leaders is to gather the troops and tell them the straight story. The revenue in the future is not looking strong so we need to cut expenses in line with our revenue projections. So, we have two choices, what ways can we increase revenue without investments and second, where can we lower our expenses. The people closest to the clients and the actual daily work are the best to help provide insight into what might be revenue opportunities and where some expenses could be lowered. I have always been pleasantly surprised by the suggestions that really made a difference. My favourite one was from an assistant who had a great idea about saving money on shipping our products which ended up saving significant dollars. When I asked how come you never raised this before . . . the answer "no one ever asked".

Leaders! Don't crawl into your office and stay in the dark. Get out! Involve and ask your team what actions can affect short term results. Leaders lead in downtimes, but leading is also listening and involving the entire team!

Stop, Close your Eyes

Out running today, listening to Flobots' "Handlebars" and trying to figure out the lyrics . . . also thinking about what I have to be thankful . . .

It's American Thanksgiving Day on thursday .. .

Stop. Close your Eyes. (well, do after reading the posting . . . )

Take the time to think about what you have to be thankful for . . . I know I am so blessed and thankful for all that I have (health, wonderful spouse and family, friends, shelter, food on the table, a job, etc.).

So often, we focus on the things we don't have or are not right in our lives. This week, take the time to focus on the good things.

Similarly, as a leader or manager . . we focus on people's weaknesses and how to improve them, whereas we don't focus on their strengths and look for ways to leverage them . . . it is better (and usually easier) to leverage a strength then improve a weakness.

So, this week, focus on your "strengths" (i.e., things to be thankful) and set aside your weaknesses for a few days (I am sure they will still be there when you return).

And for those that are about to do year end performance reviews, have a discussion around the strengths and ways to leverage those to help the business in 2009!

Speeding Ticket

For the first time in almost 15 years, I received a speeding violation. I do have an excuse. I was on a new highway (on my way to a golf charity event BTW) and the speed limit went from 70 to 55 and I just did not see the speed reduction sign.

In most states, you can pay the fine OR take a defensive driving course and the ticket is off your record (both are practically the same price). Well being as competitive as I am, I want a clean record, so decided on defensive driving course. You can spend an entire weekend day at an training seminar or take it online. I decided "cool", I will take this online, no problem, be easy and wont waste an entire day of my life. I was wrong.

The online course was suppose to take 6 hours, somehow it took me almost 9 hours to do this online course. It just went on and on and on . . . you could not skip and each page was timed . . . it was totally frustrating. And I am not a happy camper. The other deal was that at the seminar you do not have to take a test, but online you do . . . so if you failed, you have to take it again. YIKES! Now, that is pressure.

The point of this is that as a leader (or anyone), sometimes a "course" (or decision) might seem easier when in fact, it might just be a more pain in the backside. The "grass is not always greener on the other side". Next time, I am just going to pay the fine.

Joke of the Weekend XXX

> An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He
> had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he
> fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and
> peach trees.
> One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't
> been there for a while, and look it over.
>
>
> He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared
> the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came
> closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
> He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep
> end.
>
>
> One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
>
>
>
> The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim
> naked or make you get out of the pond naked.' Holding the bucket up he
> said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'
>
> Some old men can still think fast.

Tortilla Chip, Chocolate and Beans

I am planning to have lunch with my oldest son today at school. I will be bringing a nutrious McDonald's Happy Meal (I am sure he will be the envy of the table). It is a great opportunity to meet with his school friends and do something special for him (especially since I have been traveling so much recently).

Earlier in the week, I had lunch with my youngest son. He wanted Chick-fil-A (I just think he really likes those commercials with the cows mispelling "eat mor chikin"). It was a nice experience (well almost). When you sit down with a bunch of six-seven year old kids, they want your attention, so I was spending most of my time opening plastic bags, buttering bread, etc. (actually, I felt like a million dollars and in this economy that's alot). Anyway, one of my son's friends (we will just call him Sean for now) was showing how he experiences different combination of foods. NOTE: the school meal was tortilla chips, separate container of cheese, beans, milk and banana (okay this is Texas). These tortilla chips were the kind that are shaped like a bowl (for easier dipping of the cheese I suppose). So, he would pour some of his chocolate milk in the chip and eat it . . he then on the next one decided to add chocolate milk and then a bean . .. luckily I had finished my meal. However, he loved it!!! Well, to each his own. Most of the other kids, did the proper dipping of chip into the cheese and eating, and then drinking milk separate . . . and eating the beans with a fork.

Why this story and how relates to leadership? Everyone is different, and you need all kinds. Where is the excitement if everyone believed the same, never disagreed on issues. So, when you are hiring, look at the current team, do you need to spice it up a little bit . . . it's time to hire a Sean-type into the team! Innovation is good, and those who are usually innovators are the ones that are not adverse to trying new things!

Now, if there is a way of making this tortilla chip choccolate combination into a product . . . Hmmmmmm. And I wonder if I will learn something new today at the lunch of a bunch of 8 year olds!

Seasons

Unless you have been on the moon (and even then), you know that the global economy is suffering right now. If you are not being laid off, your salary increases and bonuses will be minimal. You might be miserable!

There is hope. I believe that this is a great time to make opportunity hires. I know it sounds opposite of what you think. However, when times are going well, why would you want to change employers, you are doing well, getting promoted, receiving bonuses, higher salary increases . . . be crazy to look elsewhere, right?

As an Executive, this is the time that you are on the look out for one of those great hires that will help your business in the long term.

So, this works both ways, executives that are looking . . . and employees who might be wanting another challenging role. Now, all you have to do is find each other (you don't do that sitting on your hands).

Business cycles are like seasons. We went rapidly from Autumn to Winter this time; things are looking dark, cold, just plain yucky. You hunker down in your home and rarely venture outside. Whereas, Spring will eventually come, a rebirth . . . warm, maybe a little rain though. . . but those will bring beautiful flowers. Okay, not the best analogy, but I think you get the point. This too shall pass. There are those that enjoy the winter, it is a challenge, they embrace the challenge of winter. As I have said before, there are tremendous opportunities in these times. The problems might be different, but when there are problems/issues, there is opportunity. There are two types of people when facing these kinds of changes: (1) those that retract and lay low and put up with what is happening to them, and (2) those that view change as opportunity, those that might stick their neck out a little more than others and want to control their own destiny. While the first one is the safe approach (risk averse), the second one is more risky with the rewards/gratification is significant higher. Both are fine and one is usually wired into you, so if you want to do #2 but wired as #1, you will have to work much harder to make it happen. Which one are you?

I can't wait till Spring though!

Same thing, different view

Okay, I admit it. I am a huge Woody Allen fan; enjoy his movies tremendously. Whew, I said it, it's out in public!

Traveling across the Atlantic, I watched the movie, Annie Hall. You youngsters, you probably have not seen it but it is a good movie, so watch it. Anyway, there is a scene about a couple who are having marital problems, they decide for each to seek counseling. The movie has a split screen, man talking to a counselor on the right side, and the woman talking to another counselor on the left side of the screen. Each counselor asks their "patient" . . . "how many times a week do you all make love?"

Man: "Almost Never, about three times a week"

Woman: "All the time, about three times a week"

Great scene . . . same "action" but opposite views.

So, why am I talking about this . . .

Well, the same thing happens in our work relationships, especially between leaders and employees. Certain actions take place (e.g., expense cuts - why does someone cannot take a business trip to the next city, but someone else can fly across the globe, certain promotions - why did X get promoted, they are not deserving, reduction in force - why that person and not that one, etc.). It is important for leaders to understand how their actions will be viewed, not necessarily change any decisions. However, a clear communication is important, otherwise people will not see your perspective.

. . . and for me, "almost never" . . .

Focus

I woke up at a little before 5am this morning.

I decided to get a run in . . . before the day really started.

It was dark (although the full moon was nice).
It was cold. (in the 30's)
No ipod today.
No running with the dog.
It was extremely quiet.

Lots of things are on my mind, I might be making some significant decisons soon. As I ran, I thought about each issue and "addressed" them and then went to the next issue. As I was ending the run . . . I was "my goodness I am already back home that was quick". It was a very productive run (although not as nice as my run in Bordeaux on Sunday, running through the vineyards of St Emillon).

What's the point? Well, sometimes as leaders or professionals, you just need "quiet time", no phones, meetings, disruptions . . . to set aside a time to focus on those issues that you are failing in finding time to address. I like to focus on these during my runs, others like other activities (biking, swimming, etc.) or going to a library or quiet room. It is sometimes hard to find time during these busy days, but don't forget to take the time. You will feel much better afterwards. I did. Run On!

planes, trains and automobiles

Well, I have been on vacation. If anyone has seen the movie "planes, trains, and automobiles", you may be able to relate to my trip home (oh, BTW I am not back yet).

Between the rent-a-car GPS being in Japanese, to the Air France strike (which I ended up getting last seat on a train to paris, of course the worst seat on train, by the car door that opened every 5 seconds, and then flight to USA delayed from 9am to 7:30PM (yes, that is almost 12 hour delay, it has set a record for me), of course I did not account for a 12 hour connection time (silly me), so will miss my connection.

But you know what, in my old age, I am okay with this. (Yikes, is this a new me?) In life and business, you are thrown obstacles and challenges, many out of your control. If life and business went perfectly, it would not be any fun. Right? Be patient, enjoy the "extra" time, meet someone new, and remember to appreciate the times that do go well!

I did have a great vacation. Good company, great food, amazing wine, beautiful places!

Joke of the Weekend XXIX

Are You a Professional?


The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a "professional."

Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?


The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.


2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?


Open the refrigerator put in the elephant and close the refrigerator. Wrong Answer!

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.


3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?


Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory.


OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.


4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do
you manage it?



Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.

Laughter

We don’t laugh enough at work (especially in these days of a troubled global economy). We spend at least 8 hours a day working, at least 5 days a week, at least 48 weeks a year (assuming you get four weeks vacation). We all need to have more fun at work.

At an all employee meeting several years ago, we had the FUN DOCTOR come to present and he was terrific. He illustrated several simple ways to have fun each day at work . . . ways to “spice” up the office. I think all the employees got something out of that presentation (which was a risk . . . but seemed to be a good reward). There are many things you can do to bring fun into the work place, you just need to think outside of the box.

Yesterday, I laughed more than I have in a long time. Why? Yes, I am on vacation, but it was Old colleagues coming back together (maybe drinking a few bottles of wine helped) . . . we talked about the fun times at work that we shared. When you think about it, the times when you do get together with work colleagues in a non-work environment, you do spend quite a bit of time discussing the fun times that happened.

Well, it is time to make those fun times now, so there is something to talk about in the future. What are you going to do today to have more fun at the office?

On Vacation

I am currently on vacation in Bordeaux, France.

In the past, I have posted about work colleagues being friends. This trip is a statement of that as I am joining some past colleagues who are my friends for some wonderful wine and great food. It no longer matters who reports to whom because that does not matter anymore . . . however, now, we all can just say we are friends.

When you work on a business together, there is a special bond (similar to a team sport), you set a plan, implement the plan and assess the results. I am glad that I can call former work colleagues as friends.

So, when you look around who you work with, will you still be friends a year or more after you all have gone your own ways?

Moments

When you think back about the top three moments (i.e., good things that happened to you, your team, your unit) in your business life, what is the common theme? Think about it.

They probably were not events that you were handed "the moment" . . .

It probably was not something that was totally planned or expected . . .

No.

It was something that you (and your team) were working hard. You were "going for it". It might have been risky because you did not know the ultimate outcome would be. The moment happened because it was a nice surprise from good work (and maybe a litle luck -although I believe you make your own good luck).

So remember, if you want more moments, Go for it. Be a little risky (yes, that risk reward balance).

Usually, when we have moments, we do not celebrate enough . . . so celebrate celebrate celebrate! They are too far and few between.

Now, what are you waiting for . . . go make a moment!

Everything is an Negotiation

Why does it seem that everything is a negotiation? It seems frustrating so often, because "gosh darn it" you know you are right and being fair and the answer is just staring at everyone, but somehow no one but you see it. You seem to be the smartest person in the room!

Yes, I do feel this way sometimes . . . okay, maybe I feel this way many times.

However, I definitely not the smartest person in the room. It is important to see the perspective of others, they are probably feeling the same way (being the smartest in the room) but from their vantage point. In any decision where there involvement of multiple parties, the outcome needs to be what is best. Yes, good question, best for whom (see knew you were going ask)?

The business decision needs to be what is the best interest of the organization. Okay, but what if you disagree on what is in the best interest of the organization? Well, you need to go back to the vision and fundamental strategy of the organization (hopefully one does exist . . . ) and then enter the decision discussions (aka negotiation). If you depersonalize the business decision and focus on the strategy of the organization, the negotiation turns into a positive discussion and will end up with a good solution (and not exactly what you originally felt).

It is human nature to personalize business decisions, what is this going to mean for me . . . good, bad, or indifferent? I can tell you it is not easy to depersonalize the decision but if you can and focus on what is right for the organization in context of strategy, you will end up being less frustrated and a positive outcome will be achieved.

Need Direction

Persian Proverb: When it is the darkest, you can see the stars!

When I have been in the bleakest of times, times where I was in the droldrums .. . I have found direction. The old saying, "light at the end of the tunnel". So, realize if you have been laid off or currently feel frustrated, you are in the right time to search for your new direction. Don't despair! There will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

At the darkest time, it is time that allows you to think differently and look inside yourself to find what you what your life to be.

This could also be when you, as a leader, lead a business which is not doing well. It is a wonderful time to look for a new or renewed direction for the business. You may have to take a few steps back to move forward again.

Joke of the weekend XXVIII

The Americans and Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile.

The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering. the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.

After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consulting firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team. So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive. The next year, the Japanese won by TWO miles!

Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

Together is Better

I have found a new running buddy. He is a 26 year-old athlete who played college baseball and is a family friend. I think I am getting him addicted to this running early in the morning. Some highlights:

- when you want to sleep in and not run, you can't. Instead, someone is waiting for you.
- Someone who is in definitely better shape and runs a little faster than you do, and pushing you a little harder . . . makes you a better runner
- Running goes faster when you have someone to talk to along the way. When you are approaching the end, it's like "wow, we are already here".

As with a running buddy, a leader needs a team or colleague(s) for the same motivation and success

- the entire team and unit is motivation in itself . .. the team is dependent upon you. Business is not necessarily an individual sport.
- Colleagues (who might know more than you on some subjects) will push you and in the end you will have a better product (plus you might have learned something new)
- We face challenges all the time in business, those times seem to be easier and quicker when you accomplish it as a team, instead of doing it alone!

Dont do it alone, find a team or buddy!

Evaluating Job Offers

As you develop a network of colleagues, you may asked to provide advice to someone on job offers. In addition, I have been lucky to have job offers in the past (and hope in the future). The advice I give is to focus on seven key elements.

1. Content of the Position
-What are responsibilities and authority of the position, the day-to-day activities, the what is to be done and how is it to be done.
- imagine what you will be doing in a month, six months, two years
- you should be honest with yourself and look at the negative aspects of the position (and there are such aspects to every job)

2. Challenge of the position
- Does the position provide the opportunity to make a significant difference to the success of the unit or the organization as a whole, immediately, short term, long term?
- You have to be realistic and recognize whether there's too much challenge or whether the tensions and stress connected with the challenge may more than you want, particularly if the stress is likely to be sustained over a long period.

3. Work environment
- you need to assess the climate and environment of the position, department or organization.
- remember you will not be working in isolation and what happens around you is important and will have a major impact on how you will operate, whether you will be happy and whether you will succeed or fail.

4. Chemistry
- How well will you get along with your direct supervisor, peers, colleagues, subordinates.
- are your values aligned with the organization?

5. Concern for Results and People
- Your reputation and future, livelihood, and job satisfaction are at stake and thus, you should be concerned about whether you are investing yourself in the right company.
- Ideally, an organization that has an outstanding future and strives to be better no matter how good it is now. The best can get better!
- Does the organization go beyond profits, and concern for the people who work there?

6. Compensation
- Not this is at #6, but will be different for different people, especially at different stages of their career.

7. Location
- If there is relocation involved (which so many executives turn down positions that require relocation), assess the impact on family, change in lifestyle, climate, removing oneself from family and friends.
- Assess the community where you will be living


Maybe these seem obvious, but changing jobs or selecting a new one is an important decision.

BLAH!

If you have children, you know that your kids bring every kind of illness home from school. (Cough). Well, I got the typically headcold that moves down to the chest . . . (cough). I ache all over . . .

I promised a friend (cough) that I would run this morning, which I did. However, I sure did not feel like it (cough) . . . at the beginning, in the middle or at the end. I did finish (cough). Tomorrow is another day.

It just reminds me (cough) that as a leader/manager, you have to do things that you do not feel like doing, but you do it (cough). . . and you do it the best you can . . . It could be budgets, it could be distributing increases with a limited amount, it could be letting people go.

Remember, tomorrow is another day. (cough) You have to have "bad" days, so you have can have those great days. Here's hoping you have a great day.

Virtual Leadership Training

Most of people get promoted into a leadership or management positions feel that they did not receive enough training. While some training can help, it is very difficult to train for the constant "putting out the fires" scenarios. Most of the learning is from on the job experience. Here is an article on video games providing those experiences of being in a leadership position. Interesting.

From MMO To CEO
Matthew Kirdahy
Forbes.com

http://www.forbes.com/leadership/innovation/2008/07/16/leadership-online-videogames-lead-cx_mk_0716ceo.html

Sean Conover has two jobs. One is at a computer forensics lab in suburban New Jersey; the other is in a fantastical galaxy inhabited by 250,000 intelligent life forms driven by power and greed. In one place, he takes orders. In the other, he gives them.

There are many more like Conover, and with good reason. It's in this virtual space where tomorrow's business leaders are being born. Mom may mock videogames no more.

The experience of playing online role-playing games can mold and shape real-world business leaders. Any of the tens of millions of people playing "World of Warcraft," "EverQuest" or "EVE Online" will tell you these games are about serving a greater purpose. Sure, you're free to explore at will and engage enemies from dungeons to mountain tops, but the majority of players with common goals band together to take perilous risks and build empires.

When Conover gets home from his 9 to 5 job, he logs onto a virtual world as "Darius Johnson," chief executive of "Goonfleet," a corporation composed of more than 2,800 players in "EVE."

The leadership experience has challenged Conover the same way the modern CEO is challenged. He worries about economics, employee morale, production, training and even a succession plan, which he's devising. (After all, the next guy has to be able to weather the storm too.)

There are hundreds of helpful online games out there. Gamers will pay as much as $15 per month to play. Some games are offered for free; others only ask players to pay for various in-game elements to enhance the experience, one that may ready you for the C suite.

According to a May Harvard Business Review article, titled "Leadership's Online Labs," there are an estimated 50 million registered online gamers worldwide in the genre commonly called "massively multiplayer online role-playing games" (MMORPGs or MMOs). "World of Warcraft" maintains the largest subscriber base at 10 million. "EVE" has 250,000. The report also cites the Palo Alto Research Center, saying these gamers--who are 85% men and are, on average, 27 years old--spend 22 hours a week playing.

The article's authors, Byron Reeves (Stanford University), Thomas W. Malone (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) and Tony O'Driscoll (North Carolina State), found that leadership in online games offers a sneak preview of tomorrow's business world. In fact, they said these games exhibit leadership abilities crucial to the future of business.

Among these games, "EVE" is structured most like the real world. Groups of players that come together to reach a common goal are called "corporations," which can then form alliances with other corporations.


Sometimes, reality mimics fiction--or at least videogames. CCP, the publisher of EVE, formed a nine-member Council of Stellar Management, to which the players elected Conover. The council functions much like a board of directors for the game. CCP even hired an economist full time to study the behaviors of EVE.

Conover admitted that while the game's business environment, set in outer space, behaves like one in the real world, there are some major differences. "EVE" and most games like it encourage risk-taking, but "you can take risks in a videogame that in business [would make] the shareholders revolt," he said.

Then there's the obvious.

"Essentially, my job is to make sure [the members] are having fun," Conover added. "For some it's mining an asteroid, for most it's shooting people," he said.

Hilmar Veigar Petursson, CEO of CCP, said the game is meant to develop a person's core leadership skill set. "EVE" caters to a hardcore audience. "There isn't a lot of difference [between] what you can apply within the game and out of it," he said. "It's more about social skills than gaming skills. It's very hard to stay on top."

Michael Morhaime, CEO of Blizzard Entertainment, owned by Activision Blizzard, maker of "World of Warcraft," said his game provides people with a chance to assume leadership roles when they might not have had the opportunity in real life. This is apparent in the formation of guilds, where communication is paramount. Players band together to form groups for economic and social reasons.

Morhaime said that for this reason, he thought fans who enjoyed the single-player experience of previous Blizzard titles would shy away from "World of Warcraft." He found the opposite to be true. "The reason behind that is it's such a social experience," he said.

These games can also fuel the entrepreneurial fire.

Some gamers, like Trey Ratcliff, may be inspired by the experience and start their own company. Ratcliff is a former "EVE" player who is now CEO and co-founder of John Galt Games. He said he always had an entrepreneurial spirit and even ran a company before he played "EVE," yet he drew on his experiences in gaming and as a professional consultant to pursue a leadership role in business.

Ratcliff said his company is developing an online game called "Web Wars." He's keeping the major details quiet, but did say it would be free to play, with in-game options to spend money. Plus, it's sure to incorporate all of the leadership challenges the genre presents to online gamers worldwide. "Every human has this genetic predisposition as a leader, artist, whatever it might be," Ratcliff said. "You can nurture that nature much quicker with MMO's. There were all these great leaders out there [who] never had a vehicle to have them rise to the top."

Until now.

Leadership outside of business

This past weekend, I attended a Cub Scout campout with my sons. Yes, this was a real camp out (tent, out in the wild, campfire, etc.). My back is still hurting (I bought a blow up mattress to sleep on, however, during the night the air all came out).

There were many activities during the day and night. I was picked to lead one of the activities, building a rocket that we would launch under air pressure. I am still not sure how I got picked, in these kinds of activities I am normally happy being a helper.

Anyway, I found myself enjoying leading this group of eight year olds.
- the kids were very focused on getting the project complete
- everyone contributed
- good ideas were built upon other good ideas and in the end had a great "product"
- after completion and carrying over the rocket, you could see the team was proud of their accomplishment
- when it was launched, the exultation that was experienced by the team was so rewarding to me (even surprised myself)

Bottom line: again, the same leadership techniques can be used in all scenarios, does not have to be business (settting out a vision/goal, keep focus, get all members to contribute in their own special way, listen to all ideas as ideas together produce a better product, all are proud when they accomplish a good result, nothing is better than shared success).

In my current individual contributor role, I do miss leading a team (maybe I will just get involved in leading more activities).

Joke of the Weekend XXVIII

For those Project Managers out there . . .

Project Management Proverbs


1 It takes one woman nine months to have a baby. It cannot be done in one month by impregnating nine women.

2 Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.

3 You can con a sucker into committing to an impossible deadline, but you cannot con him into meeting it.

4 At the heart of every large project is a small project trying to get out.

5 The more desperate the situation the more optimistic the situatee.

6 A problem shared is a buck passed.

7 A change freeze is like the abominable snowman: it is a myth and would anyway melt when heat is applied.

8 A user will tell you anything you ask, but nothing more.

9 Of several possible interpretations of a communication, the least convenient is the correct one.

10 What you don't know hurts you

11 There's never enough time to do it right first time but there's always enough time to go back and do it again.

12 The bitterness of poor quality lasts long after the sweetness of making a date is forgotten.

13 I know that you believe that you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant.

14 What is not on paper has not been said.

15 A little risk management saves a lot of fan cleaning.

16 If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs, you haven't understood the plan.

17 If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.

18 Feather and down are padding, changes and contingencies will be real events.

19 There are no good project managers - only lucky ones.

20 The more you plan the luckier you get.

21 A project is one small step for the project sponsor, one giant leap for the project manager.

22 Good project management is not so much knowing what to do and when, as knowing what excuses to give and when.

23 If everything is going exactly to plan, something somewhere is going massively wrong.

24 Everyone asks for a strong project manger - when they get them they don't want them.

25 Overtime is a figment of the naïve project manager's imagination.

26 Quantitative project management is for predicting cost and schedule overruns well in advance.

27 The sooner you begin coding the later you finish.

28 Metrics are learned men's excuses.

29 For a project manager overruns are as certain as death and taxes.

30 Some project finish on time in spite of project management best practices.

31 Fast - cheap - good - you can have any two.

32 There is such a thing as an unrealistic timescale.

33 The project would not have been started if the truth had been told about the cost and timescale.

34 A two-year project will take three years, a three year project will never finish.

35 When the weight of the project paperwork equals the weight of the project itself, the project can be considered complete.

36 A badly planned project will take three times longer than expected - a well planned project only twice as long as expected.

37 Warning: dates in a calendar are closer than they appear to be.

38 Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.

39 There is no such thing as scope creep, only scope gallop.

40 A project gets a year late one day at a time.

41 If you're 6 months late on a milestone due next week but really believe you can make it, you're a project manager.

42 No project has ever finished on time, within budget, to requirement
Yours won't be the first to.

43 Activity is not achievement.

44 Managing IT people is like herding cats.

45 If you don't know how to do a task, start it, then ten people who know less than you will tell you how to do it.

46 If you don't plan, it doesn't work. If you do plan, it doesn't work either. Why plan!

47 The person who says it will take the longest and cost the most is the only one with a clue how to do the job.

48 The sooner you get behind schedule, the more time you have to make it up.

49 The nice thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression.

50 Good control reveals problems early - which only means you'll have longer to worry about them.

51 It's hard to remember your job is to drain the swamp when you're up to your a--e in alligators.